"I'm in debt": why is it so hard to talk about it?

In short

Talking about money and personal debt remains difficult: here’s why this taboo persists and how breaking the silence can help.

Fear of being judged. Debt is often perceived as a personal failure so we prefer to remain silent.
We compare ourselves to others. Social media shows us perfect lives and we don’t consider that other people may be living on credit.
Shame leads to silence. We feel guilty and, as a result, we don’t share our worries.
The subject is still taboo. Talking about money, even with close friends, is still frowned upon.

Even if you know you’re not the only person facing financial difficulties, sharing your story is still complicated. Here are some of the reasons why we often keep our debts to ourselves.

1. Fear of being judged

Having debts is still perceived as a failure or poor money management. However, financial difficulties are not always the result of frivolous spending, but a question of survival (rent or mortgage payments, groceries and gas, for example). They’re not exactly luxuries and all these costs have increased!

2. An irrational desire to compare yourself to others

We longingly scroll through images of loved ones on vacation down South or remodeling their bathroom. Enticing photos on social media of nights out in restaurants make us jealous and we don’t consider that other people may also be living on credit. However, we don’t see their bank statements. Appearances can be deceiving!

3. Shame

This feeling causes many people to remain silent. You could be ashamed of not resolving the issue, losing control and failing. The result? We keep our money problems to ourselves and then we feel even more isolated.

4. Unease when talking about money

Discussing money is still taboo. We talk about the weather, hockey and politics, but rarely about personal finances. Opening up about money and debts in particular hasn’t become the norm yet. However, we should be at ease talking about money from a young age and even more so if we’re faced with financial difficulties at some point. Keeping everything to yourself is never a good idea.

What broaching the subject can do

When you dare to break the silence, you may well realize that you’re not alone. An honest discussion with a friend can:

lighten the burden;
help you better understand your options;
guide you towards practical help.

Naturally, this doesn’t require sharing the details of your debts or monthly budget with your friends or loved ones. However, you could pave the way for more honest conversations.

Are you in debt and suffering in silence?

Talking about your debts isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s the first step towards a solution. And if you’re not ready to broach the subject with someone close to you, our Financial Recovery Counsellors will listen to you, without judgment, and guide you towards better financial stability. Don’t hesitate to contact us.